Monday, February 13, 2012

Yearning for Wonderland Flash Fiction Contest: 3 A.M.


Yearning for Wonderland Flash Fiction Contest:  3 A.M.

Never again!”

I said it the night before as well and here I am.  Awake at 3 a.m. reaching for the empty bottle, “Why is the Rum always gone?”  I smile at my own terrible joke, even laugh out loud.  I hate this feeling, this emptiness.  I moved up here to the middle of nowhere to escape my life but she haunts my dreams.  I feel my small dinner raging a war in my stomach with the alcohol forcing me to move from the uncomfortable couch.  I creep to the porch with its rotted banister and steps; the swing isn’t safe to sit in, I may fix it next week.   
           
 I am studying the darkness when I hear it.  A song on the wind, soft and delicate but I can’t make out the words.  A mile from the nearest neighbor…  “I have a gun.”  I do but don’t remember where.  I take a dozen steps from the porch and see her, moving toward me and the snow has started to circle us as she is close enough to touch.  I know this has to be a dream. 
                                     
I can’t stop my eyes from examining every inch of her naked body though she says nothing, only smiles.  Her skin is soft and warm I don’t need to touch to know.  Wondrous wild raven hair, perfect breasts, full lips, beautiful green eyes and wings… 
                                        
Wings…she has WINGS.

Thin and transparent the shape of a butterfly’s, the snow bounces softly from them as they flutter in their purple brilliance.  I bite my lower lip wanting to touch her more than ever.  I can’t see them move but hear them, they distract me from her perfect body and everything I should be fearful of… 

…her teeth…
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Good Luck To All!
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22 comments:

  1. Nice job! You did first person very well :) I like the imagery and the voice in this piece. And, the last few lines were full of promise for interesting things to come.

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    1. TY, TY. :) You know how much of an issue I have writing in first person, so I'm glad it turned out the way it did.

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  2. Well done Steven! I really like the way you set the scene. :))

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  3. Oh my. This was awesome.

    My favorite line is actually:

    “I have a gun.” I do but don’t remember where.

    Great stuff.

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    1. Funny enough I actually edited that part out once and then had to put it back in. :) TY

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  4. Exquisite and dark. Love! Thoroughly enjoy the rhythm of your writing. This line was delightful: "I creep to the porch with its rotted banister and steps; the swing isn’t safe to sit in, I may fix it next week." Good stuff.

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  5. Excellent - nice bite at the end ;)

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  6. Off to start reading the other 30 entries!! Great fun...thanks!

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  7. Ah! Startling ending. :) What a contrast to the delicate beauty you portrayed. Nicely done.

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  8. Love it! Sensuous with a bit of a horror twist at the end. :)

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  9. This is rockin' cool :D

    Thank you for entering.

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  10. Love it, Love it, Love it!!! FanFav vote for sure.

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  11. Wicked piece, excellent ending. Poor miserable sap won't know what bit him. :)

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  12. Something tells me her bite IS worse than her bark...wonderful piece!

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  13. Good story and good advice: always watch the teeth. :-)

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  14. Great twist at the end there! I kind of love that she's naked in the snow, too. And the detail about the swing not being safe to sit in is perfect.

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