Yearning for Wonderland Flash Fiction Contest: 3 A.M.
“Never again!”
I said it the night before as
well and here I am. Awake at 3 a.m.
reaching for the empty bottle, “Why is the Rum always gone?” I smile at my own terrible joke, even laugh
out loud. I hate this feeling, this
emptiness. I moved up here to the middle
of nowhere to escape my life but she haunts my dreams. I feel my small dinner raging a war in my
stomach with the alcohol forcing me to move from the uncomfortable couch. I creep to the porch with its rotted banister
and steps; the swing isn’t safe to sit in, I may fix it next week.
I am studying the darkness when I hear
it. A song on the wind, soft and
delicate but I can’t make out the words.
A mile from the nearest neighbor…
“I have a
gun.”
I do but don’t remember where. I
take a dozen steps from the porch and see her, moving toward me and the snow
has started to circle us as she is close enough to touch. I know this has to be a dream.
I can’t stop my eyes from examining
every inch of her naked body though she says nothing, only smiles. Her skin is soft and warm I don’t need to
touch to know. Wondrous wild raven hair,
perfect breasts, full lips, beautiful green eyes and wings…
Wings…she has WINGS.
Thin and
transparent the shape of a butterfly’s, the snow bounces softly from them as
they flutter in their purple brilliance. I bite my lower lip wanting to touch her more than ever. I can’t see them move but hear them, they distract me from her perfect
body and everything I should be fearful of…
…her teeth…
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Good Luck To All!
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Good Luck To All!
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Nice job! You did first person very well :) I like the imagery and the voice in this piece. And, the last few lines were full of promise for interesting things to come.
ReplyDeleteTY, TY. :) You know how much of an issue I have writing in first person, so I'm glad it turned out the way it did.
DeleteWell done Steven! I really like the way you set the scene. :))
ReplyDeleteTY Jo-Anne.
DeleteOh my. This was awesome.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite line is actually:
“I have a gun.” I do but don’t remember where.
Great stuff.
Funny enough I actually edited that part out once and then had to put it back in. :) TY
DeleteExquisite and dark. Love! Thoroughly enjoy the rhythm of your writing. This line was delightful: "I creep to the porch with its rotted banister and steps; the swing isn’t safe to sit in, I may fix it next week." Good stuff.
ReplyDeleteTY
DeleteExcellent - nice bite at the end ;)
ReplyDeleteWas my favorite part. Ty
DeleteOff to start reading the other 30 entries!! Great fun...thanks!
ReplyDeleteThank you. :)
DeleteAh! Startling ending. :) What a contrast to the delicate beauty you portrayed. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteThank you. :)
DeleteLove it! Sensuous with a bit of a horror twist at the end. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is rockin' cool :D
ReplyDeleteThank you for entering.
Love it, Love it, Love it!!! FanFav vote for sure.
ReplyDeleteWicked piece, excellent ending. Poor miserable sap won't know what bit him. :)
ReplyDeleteI wasn't expecting the teeth!
ReplyDeleteSomething tells me her bite IS worse than her bark...wonderful piece!
ReplyDeleteGood story and good advice: always watch the teeth. :-)
ReplyDeleteGreat twist at the end there! I kind of love that she's naked in the snow, too. And the detail about the swing not being safe to sit in is perfect.
ReplyDelete