Wednesday, January 30, 2013

VisDare 5: Obscure

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It was just a kiss, but she had been the one.  The one whose patience ran out and he smiled as she looked away flushed with embarrassment.

“I am sorry I’m not who you want me to be.  I’m not aggressive… I hold back.”

Her eyes shifted back to him.

“This is…more than I expected.  You are the best friend I have ever had, the only true friend I’ve ever had.  I fell for you without ever knowing your touch.  For who you are.  The person who hides from anyone who may be looking.”

She turned to face him as he leaned in, their noses and foreheads touched and he smiled, blue eyes on the edge of tears. 

“I am afraid one of us is going to get hurt.  And I know it will be me…I can’t bear the thought of not having you in my life. 

I love you.”

(150 words)


  1. Ugh, after reading it....I realize the reader has no idea who is speaking. But it is meant to be only him speaking.

  2. It was only the first quote that I had attributed (mistakenly) to the woman. The remaining markers do their work. Such heartache in this - a leap of faith - and to hang on the girl's silence would be torture. Well rendered! Lovely work. :)

  3. Ooh I thought the second quote may be hers, each rendition provides such an edge, love the intensity

  4. In this case, I don't think that it matters who is speaking as it doesn't interfere with the sentiments expressed.