Triple Visual Dare #4 (click to see others to this weeks challenge)
Kyle felt the cold breeze of ocean air across his face, hands
in his sweat shirt pockets. It was fall,
and though the air was warmer here than where he was raised he still felt the
bite of winter. It was Thanksgiving, and
a thousand miles from anyone who he thought might care. He looked at the empty parking lot, most days
it would be packed but not today. Only
the crow looked and squawked at him from a lamp. He ran his hand over the cross around his
neck as he looked back to the ocean and smiled.
This seems such a hopeful piece to me, despite the emptiness and solitary tang. Would like to know what he's remembering in that last line...!
ReplyDeleteLovely work! Always look forward to your entries, Steven! :)
Yeah, i was trying to get away from the depressive tone....I failed in the first draft and had to rewrite it. Not sure if I was going for hopeful... As much as everyone has that one memory, whether it be of someone that they turn to when days are at their darkest.
DeleteThere is so much below the surface here.
ReplyDeleteIs this vignette a stand alone, or a fragment of something larger?
I want to know more, and get to know Kyle better.
Cheers!
JzB
nope, it's stand alone. Thanks.
DeleteI like the touch of the cross part. A fond memory perhaps?
ReplyDeleteVery well written. Thanks for sharing.
A story where I can take the freedom of filling blanks with my own imagination.
ReplyDelete