Wednesday, February 20, 2013

VisDare 8: Listening

Check out all the other Vis Dares by clicking the picture.  :)



“You don’t listen.”  Paul opened his eyes, the subway car was filling the moment before but only frosted air greeted him now.  “You never listen.”

“Who?” Paul didn’t need to ask.  The small cat stepped from under the bench several feet away.  “I never got to say goodbye to you.”

“You didn’t want to say goodbye.”

“I never thought there would be a day when goodbye meant…”

“Goodbye.”  He could hear the unforgettable laugh as it replaced the small humming purr.  “Everyone says goodbye, doesn’t matter whether you want it or not.”

“You sound like me…everyone disappoints… I know I disappointed you…didn’t give you your fairy tale romance, even though I wanted too…and I loved you.  More than anything.”

“And now you’ve gone and done something unforgivably stupid.”

 The air began to grow colder and he could see the windows begin to freeze.  “I’m sorry.”

6 comments:

  1. So fun! I've been looking at the prompt trying to figure which way to go. Like where you took it. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is something I've either read, or watched or something about cats being the wardens between life and death.... And that is what the picture evoked in me. Someone having passed on and the cat is there to help him. And the voice of the one person from his past he most wants, wishes he could talk to.

      Delete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. And I'm not sure if sorry will ever be enough. Nice writing Steven..

    ReplyDelete
  4. I really like the way you went with this.. Great post.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You translated the moment very well. I like the subtle touches of the death-gripping cold creeping over the rail car as he reaches that moment of crossing. Nice touch with the cat as the death-warden. Loved this!

    ReplyDelete